Sometimes in the valley

Sometimes in the flow of the life in the valley one wonders. What it is that one really has.

Aggressive work, egos, achievements, desire for money and fame, parties, men (or women), and at the end of it all exhausted passing out. Its at those moments when some of us wonder--what did we really loose by leaving the fold and leaving our people? In loosing that system that only allowed the lowest common denominator of progress, was there something sweeter that we lost. Was that something understanding, love, protection?

And then one wonders did one loose the only thing that is really valuable in the world.

These thoughts come and pass as the newest coolest innovation catches our eyes. We enjoy the adrenaline rush, refocus on our desire for money, stuff our mouth with yet another cookie and then go back to the work that will help us get all--money, joy, fame and may be someday the love and admiration we so desire...

Oh God please keep my A' safe...

Once in a while, in life we have a great love. One that even at parting you love deeply. Someone who really gets under your skin. Some one you then end up praying for forever. You ask God to keep him safe, whole, and loved.

Please God keep my A' safe. I am leaving him to your infinite grace.

Thank you for a brief encounter

Thank you. Thank you for dipping into my spirit and sharing my most feminine self. Thank you for loving my presence and my form. My light and my love. Thank you for letting me love you and you me. The bounds we crossed, the courage you showed, the desire we felt will remain honored and sacred. May life grant us both that which nurtures us, grows us, and keeps us on a path of progress, growth, and happiness. The spirit that is me lovingly embraces the spirit that is you.

On developing love!

Oh what a weekend--3 parties. Lots of great contacts and learning both on the professional and personal front. Professionally learning which folks are great resources for learning and connecting. Several folks for follow up chats and interviewing for the other blog.

Personally--at first party bad feeling vibration to someone's actions which I quickly cut short. Understood the guy was using pick up artist moves and look towards him with compassion and belief in his being better. Or not, but it doesn't affect me as its not about me and I choose not the focus on it. At another party someone I really liked trying to hook me up with someone else. Felt really weird about it and realized thru someone else's feedback that I appeared annoyed. At this point even that feedback feels great because now I know exactly what areas of rapport I have to focus my efforts on learning in terms of outside action with inside inner change. Love someone and enjoy them, not be annoyed by who they are. Love will grow deeper as time goes by but sensing its lack isn't what will get me there. Thank you source for this expansion and learning. I feel the manifestation is coming!

Now I will focus on my professional goals. Blog about those ideas of marketing and strategy that I feel strongly within me. Give a written voice to those ideas I believe so strongly within me. I know and feel them coming.

Believing in myself when corporate world doesnt

Many of all the consulting offers I am getting from my outreach efforts are leaving me frustrated. The taking advantage--inadequate or no pay offers, demeaning what I offer, and the talks of how my past successes were low hanging fruit are jarring my awareness. BS u little good for nothings. I am amazing and great at what I do. I will reach heights of achievement. And then you will wonder what made you miss it. And even if you don't trust me I will get better results than you ever dreamed of in you puny little offices.

I believe in myself and my power. I value myself as higher than anything these guys could pay me.

Get network goal up in 3 months.

How being with some people is the same as being alone

M didn't commiserate or sooth when I told him something was annoying me. Why bother with guys like that! Its like being alone with flirts thrown in, which if you have a healthy global sense of flirting is like being alone--with flirts thrown in.

Rant: Sindhi closemindedness

Weirdness. My cousin emails me to tell me she is having her nikah--marriage contract signed with someone on Friday. All she tells me about the guy is that he is Punjabi from my dad's hood. Does nothing else matter to these people?! She is living in the west, you'd think ethnic close mindedness and Sindhi nationalism would leave by now. Her email does not make her sound any different from a girl in Pakistan.

Ugh.

I wonder if at some level I'd rather not hear from such mentally improvished family members.

Emotions tearing you? Love yourself.

Just had a great morning of contrast and resultant expansion. About 40 mins ago I was not flowing with the expansion. Meditating did not help me flow either. Turns out my ego was pulling me apart. A part of me wanted to believe I was right in behaving a certain way while that another part of me was guilting me for. The thought process that allowed this conflict was that sometimes one has to take a hard and difficult stance for justice. And the emotional after tearing is just part of that decision.

But today I realized that it doesn't have to be. Emotions are a result of thoughts. An emotion of guilt should be examined for any teaching it gives regarding whether an action should have been avoided or been better in some way. Once that examination has been made. Love and trust yourself. You are not bad. You are simply learning. Tell yourself to remember to use that learning in the next situation and then enjoy all that you have in this moment and all that you are doing and planning to do in this moment.

Love yourself. There is never a need for suffering.

15 sec pitch for a revolutionary mentality

As someone who grew up in class conscious Pakistan I sometimes have occasions of feeling class inferiority. These occasions have become much rarer over the last few years. But a recent breakup reminded me of some of the same feelings. So I pinged my friend P, a raving San Franciscan liberal--the kind of people I really love and told him about this, thinking that his incredulous-ness will shame these last visages of class inferirioty out of me. What actually happened was much more amazing. It reminded me of the brightness I really am. Here is P's 15 sec pitch for a revolutionary mentality. Read, enjoy, and grow!

First:
recognition that you have come to this country overcoming class and gender, and a powering your way to success all by yourself compared to someone whose mommy and daddy paid their way through life, that's not a big accomplishment

Second:
humans have a divide and conquer system going on
it's a chain

Third
think about womens rights, decolonialization, abolition of slavery, queer rights. All of these things at it's roots have been class struggles

Fourth
It's about empowerment. Empowerment of the individual, empowerment of you
if you had a kid and they said that they didn't feel good enough to date a white person, what would you tell them?


that the future of the world is getting beyond class and race conciousness? :)
it's cool to be working class
it's the best class to be
:)

working class produced punk rock, hip hop, all that in your face stuff
okay, that's my mini rant.

Loving myself

This day I greet with love. Love for myself and love for all people and situations. The true God consciousness is really one of love and acceptance. I will practice this love for myself as I learn to be kinder to myself. For how I am with myself and others attracts life's behavior towards me. Help me God as I strive to love myself through the tasks of my day.

Believing in oneself

Each time we are overtaken by fears, by our sense of another's judgment, by pressure to change who we are and what we believe we are struggling with. We are struggling between what we or others see versus what we want and believe to be true. Many times we get disheartened at this. But really we should simply believe in ourselves and our vision. If we do so even if we fail, though there is not such thing as failure, we will move from this life knowing that we tried. And in that trying we grew. Oh and how delicious that growth is.

Positive thought in times of negative emotion

Feelings of anxiety, fear, anger rise from a sense that the world and our place in it is not okay. That everything is chaos. That we are merely individuals alone in this vast sea of life being and pushed and pulled by other players in our life. This feeling of lack of control makes us show up in our lives as smaller, less confident, comfortable, optimistic presences. Since inner beliefs and talk take time to change it is helpful to remind ourselves of the better feeling and more empowering beliefs that come from our inner centers, the source of love and connectedness to God and regularly dispeling the beliefs that are in each fear contrary to this:

• The world is a beautiful user friendly universe. The darkness and absence is more than outweighed by the light.
• No one can keep you away from your light, the decisions you want to make that feel good and work for you. Feeling that they can is a remnant of earlier more helpless phases of personal and evolutionary development
• Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. A thought that collects the data of your experience and judges it as negative is just as realistic as one that judges it as positive. Due to our strong consciousness of the laws of the physical universe based on that which we gather from our senses we focus on action as the focal point of creation in our lives. From the vibrational perspective of the universe the order is a bit different: thought takes precedence over word, which takes precedence over action.

Three tips to more effectively dealing with criticism

Forgive the critic right away, even those who have bad intentions.

Not forgiving them hurts your own ability to feel good and focus on that which you want.

Think about the potential for truth

If you can find any use it as feedback to change your behavior positivity. Monitor your progress. They have given you a gift. Thank them and the universe for it.

Don’t dwell on the giver of criticism, his or her impression of you, or the possibility of future criticism

Dwelling simply makes one depressed. Instead think of the beauty in them and specifically the beauty in their criticism. Regardless of anything else a human being's ability to persist in using tactless methods to change behavior is just as amazing as their ability to change behavior tactfully by using kind words at the right moment.

How does one express one's feelings?

What is a good way of expressing one's feelings? How does one say to another that something they said or did really bought out older pains or caused new one's? And if one doesn't do this how does one heal?

moments of love

The softness of your touch, the calmness of your kisses. The expression of desire so loving that it takes my breath away. Your submitting to my touch. The surrender of your body to my love. Moments as delicate and perfect as fine glass. And a tender love I seek more of.

Feelings and the higher part of me…

I’ve been thinking a lot about connection with the divine part of me, that source energy that pervades all humanity, and connects it. I’ve also been thinking about what it feels like to be connected with it and what actions/thoughts take away that connection. Feeling becomes a very important indicator in this path. I’ve found that the simplest way to live that connection is to live with that which comes as feeling, stay with it long enough to understand it, release it, and reorient towards values and goals. When I am truly conscious of the higher part of myself, the higher part of me is conscious in-turn of the gratification focused exchanges and actions that move me away from the relationships I’d like to create. Sometimes however I must live the contrast to truly know that work, because the higher part of myself learns and grows through contrast. And that answer keeps changing across situations and times of spiritual development.

But the higher part of me knows all, although sometimes it doesn’t tell me. It wants me to figure out that which is my truest answer. The last verse of Rumi’s poem “Medicine out of pain” aptly describes this seeming paradox:

“I tell everything, but I do not say it,
Because, my friend, it is better
Your secret be spoken by you.”