Many of all the consulting offers I am getting from my outreach efforts are leaving me frustrated. The taking advantage--inadequate or no pay offers, demeaning what I offer, and the talks of how my past successes were low hanging fruit are jarring my awareness. BS u little good for nothings. I am amazing and great at what I do. I will reach heights of achievement. And then you will wonder what made you miss it. And even if you don't trust me I will get better results than you ever dreamed of in you puny little offices.
I believe in myself and my power. I value myself as higher than anything these guys could pay me.
Get network goal up in 3 months.
Showing posts with label law of allowing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label law of allowing. Show all posts
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Loving myself
This day I greet with love. Love for myself and love for all people and situations. The true God consciousness is really one of love and acceptance. I will practice this love for myself as I learn to be kinder to myself. For how I am with myself and others attracts life's behavior towards me. Help me God as I strive to love myself through the tasks of my day.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Should other people impact your happiness?
Last night, I hung out with a male friend who I have some feelings for and I was under the impression until last night had feelings for me also. I am not sure if I was completely wrong, whether he chalked the feelings down to sexual desire or one of the thought patterns in his mind made him choose to end those feelings for me.
As these thoughts came back to me this morning, I felt a little ashamed at my attempts to give him the opportunity to feel and express love. I also felt ashamed and saddened at the thought that his earlier behavior did not come from a place of tenderness and affection.
Since I have been working on connecting with source, my mind is more prone to protest loudly at negative thoughts. When it did so, I realized how surprising all these thoughts were. I realized that a lot of the pain and suffering we bring upon ourselves is through expecting others to act in certain ways. When they don’t we spend hours dissecting their every word and action. The truth is: it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what they think of you or what thoughts underlie their actions. Because at the end of the day you can rarely change people’s feelings and consequent actions. And you certainly cannot change them without the other person desiring to do so.
What you can change and what does matter is how you feel, think, and act; and whether your those are helping you close your vibrational gap or not.
As these thoughts came back to me this morning, I felt a little ashamed at my attempts to give him the opportunity to feel and express love. I also felt ashamed and saddened at the thought that his earlier behavior did not come from a place of tenderness and affection.
Since I have been working on connecting with source, my mind is more prone to protest loudly at negative thoughts. When it did so, I realized how surprising all these thoughts were. I realized that a lot of the pain and suffering we bring upon ourselves is through expecting others to act in certain ways. When they don’t we spend hours dissecting their every word and action. The truth is: it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what they think of you or what thoughts underlie their actions. Because at the end of the day you can rarely change people’s feelings and consequent actions. And you certainly cannot change them without the other person desiring to do so.
What you can change and what does matter is how you feel, think, and act; and whether your those are helping you close your vibrational gap or not.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Use of silence and limited action in cocreation
For the past 3 or 4 of my asking my boyfriend to do the dishes and tidy his room. I didn’t like the feeling I got when trying to coerce him to do this. I tried doing the dishes myself for a few days hoping he will take over the next day but that never happened. I tried a calm discussion and how his not taking care of these things made me feel but this only led to him agreeing to take care of things but instead doing two other unasked for favors and later trying to renegotiate the room cleaning and dishwashing.
When I woke up this morning to a dirty room and a strong feeling of annoyance mixed with anger I started to analyze why his inaction was making me feel this way. I realized more than his inaction it was from feeling that his behavior called for angry rude behavior on my part. I also realized the nagging and the anger made me feel really sad and disconnected from source.
So I am trying an alternate course of action. I woke up this morning and wrote down the note below and made him sign it:
“I [my boyfriend’s name] promise to wash the dishes and tidy the bedroom before sunset. When I do so my girlfriend will begin speaking to me again. I understand that if I do not she will not do so.”
After signing I stopped speaking to him. Although he has still not completed both tasks in their entirety some changes have taken place, the negative reinforcement of no speaking has made him do a few dishes. But the most powerful thing is that I no longer feel cranky or disappointed. I feel hopeful. The decision to not talk as well as establish clear priorities by writing has taken action away from the equation of trying to create what I want--a tidy home. Not talking has made me realize the energy used in speaking and the energy used in expressing negative feelings makes the inner constriction of feeling grow. Letting that go has given me the space to vibrate in love and affection for my darling and recognizing the beautiful vibrance within him regardless of whether he follows through or not. It has also helped me realize that it is not the actions of others that makes us feel pain, it is our judging of them that gives us pain. This pain takes us away from our connectedness to source and all the beautiful things that lie within.
When I woke up this morning to a dirty room and a strong feeling of annoyance mixed with anger I started to analyze why his inaction was making me feel this way. I realized more than his inaction it was from feeling that his behavior called for angry rude behavior on my part. I also realized the nagging and the anger made me feel really sad and disconnected from source.
So I am trying an alternate course of action. I woke up this morning and wrote down the note below and made him sign it:
“I [my boyfriend’s name] promise to wash the dishes and tidy the bedroom before sunset. When I do so my girlfriend will begin speaking to me again. I understand that if I do not she will not do so.”
After signing I stopped speaking to him. Although he has still not completed both tasks in their entirety some changes have taken place, the negative reinforcement of no speaking has made him do a few dishes. But the most powerful thing is that I no longer feel cranky or disappointed. I feel hopeful. The decision to not talk as well as establish clear priorities by writing has taken action away from the equation of trying to create what I want--a tidy home. Not talking has made me realize the energy used in speaking and the energy used in expressing negative feelings makes the inner constriction of feeling grow. Letting that go has given me the space to vibrate in love and affection for my darling and recognizing the beautiful vibrance within him regardless of whether he follows through or not. It has also helped me realize that it is not the actions of others that makes us feel pain, it is our judging of them that gives us pain. This pain takes us away from our connectedness to source and all the beautiful things that lie within.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
How we hold ourselves back
Yesterday while observing a period of anger in another I noticed a strong negative vortex within me. Later when I started to examine and release my negative emotion I realized that it fell in three categories: anger, annoyance, and fear.
Anger at the thought of unfairness. At strongly feeling that this person is yelling and showing himself to be a bigger animal in order to manipulate the object of anger to not acting out of his own understanding of his greater truth but instead to appease the aggressor by acting according to his will.
Annoyance at the aggressor’s choice to not learn from countless reminders he has received in life that manipulation is never the path to mutual happiness or the brighter free allowing world he says he wants to create.
And fear. The aggressor is choosing to show himself to be a bigger animal to get the object of anger to act out of fear. In line with this method the aggressor may intensify to higher and higher levels of maliciousness to reach his aims. Fear at the very real possibility of harm when dealing with such an individual.
As I finished thinking out loud about the basis of my negative reactions I realized that at their very core is the belief that all of us have the right to choose what we do and how we do it in our lives. My emotions are the result of feeling the contrast of people not allowing others to do so. But really by feeling these emotions and holding on to them I am being just as disallowing as the aggressor. Even if I am not responding with manipulation and anger by responding with negative emotion I am disallowing myself from the higher desire I launched due to my experience of this contrast i.e. creating a world in which we think, speak, and act out of our own highest self and allow and inspire another to do the same.
And like all thought this last thought is attractive. It has already given me ideas on how to deal with conflict at its seeds in a way that provides the space for each of us to voice and launch our own desires, without feeling the negative emotions of a disallower but instead the emotions of those who are source and are learning and reaching for a greater understanding towards the free world that I really want to create.
Anger at the thought of unfairness. At strongly feeling that this person is yelling and showing himself to be a bigger animal in order to manipulate the object of anger to not acting out of his own understanding of his greater truth but instead to appease the aggressor by acting according to his will.
Annoyance at the aggressor’s choice to not learn from countless reminders he has received in life that manipulation is never the path to mutual happiness or the brighter free allowing world he says he wants to create.
And fear. The aggressor is choosing to show himself to be a bigger animal to get the object of anger to act out of fear. In line with this method the aggressor may intensify to higher and higher levels of maliciousness to reach his aims. Fear at the very real possibility of harm when dealing with such an individual.
As I finished thinking out loud about the basis of my negative reactions I realized that at their very core is the belief that all of us have the right to choose what we do and how we do it in our lives. My emotions are the result of feeling the contrast of people not allowing others to do so. But really by feeling these emotions and holding on to them I am being just as disallowing as the aggressor. Even if I am not responding with manipulation and anger by responding with negative emotion I am disallowing myself from the higher desire I launched due to my experience of this contrast i.e. creating a world in which we think, speak, and act out of our own highest self and allow and inspire another to do the same.
And like all thought this last thought is attractive. It has already given me ideas on how to deal with conflict at its seeds in a way that provides the space for each of us to voice and launch our own desires, without feeling the negative emotions of a disallower but instead the emotions of those who are source and are learning and reaching for a greater understanding towards the free world that I really want to create.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Law of allowing
In a moment of feeling great gratitude for my boyfriend I called him to tell him I love him. I had just watched “Sleepless in Seattle.” He on the other hand had watched Obama’s latest speech.
I am one of the most apolitical people I know. I simply do not trust that one political leader over another is capable of bringing the transformative change I deeply desire to see in society. Instead I am a believer in grassroots efforts that involve empowering the masses at an individual level rather then galvanizing them around a leader by appealing to their lower chakras. My passionate BF didn’t hear this when he was trying to convince me to persuade others to vote for Obama. He responded to my saying I am apolitical with you can’t even talk to one person for me?
Living this contrast reminded me strongly of my views on creation.
• creation is first and foremost an individual endeavor
• sometimes for some things it can be a joint effort between two partners
• no one is born to serve me and I am not born to serve another in their creation
The law of allowing is based on us being okay with another’s alternative creation. In our case this means him being okay with my desire to be apolitical and mine being okay with his political passion.
I am one of the most apolitical people I know. I simply do not trust that one political leader over another is capable of bringing the transformative change I deeply desire to see in society. Instead I am a believer in grassroots efforts that involve empowering the masses at an individual level rather then galvanizing them around a leader by appealing to their lower chakras. My passionate BF didn’t hear this when he was trying to convince me to persuade others to vote for Obama. He responded to my saying I am apolitical with you can’t even talk to one person for me?
Living this contrast reminded me strongly of my views on creation.
• creation is first and foremost an individual endeavor
• sometimes for some things it can be a joint effort between two partners
• no one is born to serve me and I am not born to serve another in their creation
The law of allowing is based on us being okay with another’s alternative creation. In our case this means him being okay with my desire to be apolitical and mine being okay with his political passion.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Law of allowing--others to be, feel, do anything they want
Today when I stopped by D’s desk for a random social visit she began conversing on a new methodology on strength finding that corporate has been advocating. I told her I that I don’t agree with the methodology since in essence it says that you should identify your inner talents and develop strengths in accordance with them for it is difficult and almost impossible to develop strengths in areas where you have no inner talents. It is best to use areas of inner talent to loop around one’s weaknesses. I instead belief I can develop skills in any area I desire and it is not limited to areas of inner talent.
She kept arguing that is not different from what the book is saying. When I said lets agree to disagree, she said one can’t disagree when one doesn’t see what one is disagreeing with to which I responded that having a argument/conversation on the strength finder is not important to me. She said it is to her and I am being dismissive of her which is disrespectful. I told by insisting I have a conversation on something with her when I don’t want to she is being disrespectful of me.
While, that allowed her to say okay and give me a cue to exit to my mind it seemed like a needless confrontation. As I have have recently learned to learn I wondered what about my response that led to this escalation. It made me realize that the philosophies, ideas, and values I hold from people and especially people in my day job is significantly different. Sometimes to allow smooth flowing it is best to not push against that which is different but allow a parallel path which gives us all a chance to be and believe what we desire; allowing an epiphany to the other to come if their mind state so wills it. In any case, doing so will let others not feel slighted which otherwise is rampant in the close quarters of cubicle life and perhaps even in relationship life. People being free to believe and do as they will.
She kept arguing that is not different from what the book is saying. When I said lets agree to disagree, she said one can’t disagree when one doesn’t see what one is disagreeing with to which I responded that having a argument/conversation on the strength finder is not important to me. She said it is to her and I am being dismissive of her which is disrespectful. I told by insisting I have a conversation on something with her when I don’t want to she is being disrespectful of me.
While, that allowed her to say okay and give me a cue to exit to my mind it seemed like a needless confrontation. As I have have recently learned to learn I wondered what about my response that led to this escalation. It made me realize that the philosophies, ideas, and values I hold from people and especially people in my day job is significantly different. Sometimes to allow smooth flowing it is best to not push against that which is different but allow a parallel path which gives us all a chance to be and believe what we desire; allowing an epiphany to the other to come if their mind state so wills it. In any case, doing so will let others not feel slighted which otherwise is rampant in the close quarters of cubicle life and perhaps even in relationship life. People being free to believe and do as they will.
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