Handling criticism and finding emotional balance

I just had a discussion with my mother that included her bringing up things that were painful for me. I suffered the emotions corresponding to those moments for a short while after ending our conversation. What's interesting is that she simply had a different view point and nothing that was overwhelmingly wrong or abusive. But my internal suffering was intense.

Its interesting these dynamics of a relationship between two adults, where one adult myself is still coming from a child's perspective--i.e. that of needing unconditional love and thinking of each statement as a directive, where it simply may be an opinion.

Emotional balance comes from letting go of intensity when processing someone else's words, including those of our parents. And it is only with that balance that we can make solid life choices.

letting go of control in love

Most of the time I have a very clear idea of what exact manifestation will make me happy. My new focus on being happy pre-manifestation is allowing me to be more open to a greater variety of experiences. For example a high energy, low depth call from a boyfriend no longer makes me feel unsatisfied. I fully accept the form in which love comes in my life at random moments. There is a unique pleasure in being such an open observer. Its not that I can ever control all the details of my life anyways. Each thought focused on lack of such control is my ego's fooling me into thinking that I can. Letting go of these thoughts and reorienting towards acceptance generally brings more happiness as I become open to more experiences.