Meeting with the ex.

Today I met my ex-BF J. Our conversation was superficial. Perhaps it was the 4.5 months since our break-up. Perhaps it was the presence of my current (but soon to be ex-BF, a mutual decision I did not tell J about). Perhaps it was a joint desire to not get into detailed unresolved feelings from our relationship. Or perhaps it was us repeating interaction dynamics from our relationship. Once it was over I felt the pain. The pain of not sharing how I truly felt. And the pain of freshly feeling what it is like to let go of another and the dreams we have about them.

I wish him well. I also wish I could speak to him about our breakup openly. But perhaps the emotional release I expect from something like this is what I must provide myself. Life will tell…