How we hold ourselves back

Yesterday while observing a period of anger in another I noticed a strong negative vortex within me. Later when I started to examine and release my negative emotion I realized that it fell in three categories: anger, annoyance, and fear.

Anger at the thought of unfairness. At strongly feeling that this person is yelling and showing himself to be a bigger animal in order to manipulate the object of anger to not acting out of his own understanding of his greater truth but instead to appease the aggressor by acting according to his will.

Annoyance at the aggressor’s choice to not learn from countless reminders he has received in life that manipulation is never the path to mutual happiness or the brighter free allowing world he says he wants to create.

And fear. The aggressor is choosing to show himself to be a bigger animal to get the object of anger to act out of fear. In line with this method the aggressor may intensify to higher and higher levels of maliciousness to reach his aims. Fear at the very real possibility of harm when dealing with such an individual.

As I finished thinking out loud about the basis of my negative reactions I realized that at their very core is the belief that all of us have the right to choose what we do and how we do it in our lives. My emotions are the result of feeling the contrast of people not allowing others to do so. But really by feeling these emotions and holding on to them I am being just as disallowing as the aggressor. Even if I am not responding with manipulation and anger by responding with negative emotion I am disallowing myself from the higher desire I launched due to my experience of this contrast i.e. creating a world in which we think, speak, and act out of our own highest self and allow and inspire another to do the same.

And like all thought this last thought is attractive. It has already given me ideas on how to deal with conflict at its seeds in a way that provides the space for each of us to voice and launch our own desires, without feeling the negative emotions of a disallower but instead the emotions of those who are source and are learning and reaching for a greater understanding towards the free world that I really want to create.