As the days go by after your ending our romance I keep getting more lessons about my creations in the relationship. Last night I realized my need to control due to fear. Today I realized that fear is the fear of a sweet little girl, who is so afraid of being judged and not loved. Two days ago I was regretting that I wasn't able to show you all my love. And now I realize most of our time together was love. Lots of love. Deep deep love. I miss you my jaan. I pray that someday we are both able to find even more beautiful love with each other or with someone else.
May be loving means accepting someone warts and all. May be moments with a lover are like a that warm honey mixture whose warmth and love you can feel many days after leaving also. I wasn't very kind to you about the parts of you I did not like. Neither was I allowing of these. I for my part plan to work on this in the future.
I must remember to love the humanness of someone just as much as I love the strength of their spirit. This is especially true in times when I bring intense needs to the relationship as only so much can be fulfilled by the other person.
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