Shift to a more positive money consciousness

Living in California bartering food and board for work, while striving hard to land a few consulting gigs, I am realizing how connected we hold money to self-esteem, security and well-being. Sometimes even relationship choices are from a place of trying to fulfill that gap. Lack of money can often keep many people stuck in negative vibrations of need and want rather than believing in abundance and receiving.

Shifting this vibration to one of abundance requires:

• Realizing what world views we have unconsciously chosen that bring about these negative emotions
• Remembering who it came from, understand ing their motivations, and putting those memories behind us
• Recognizing how these world views and vibrations constrain us. Ask yourself: if I wasn’t feeling insecure would I be more confident and how would that improve my outcome?
• Letting go of fear associated with believing the old world view or fear of not believing it
• Recognizing the beauty and joy around you. Being grateful for that and all your blessings.
• Recognizing and acting on the guidance and inspiration that comes through the advice people and your inner voice give you

In short, the first step is recognizing the pain of negative vibrations and the next step is choosing to shift them. If we are motivated we can achieve this shift with some practice. In the process it is that we not be too hard on oneself as that can often lead to more negative vibrations, and hence increase the problem and discomfort.

Wishing you peace, security, and confidence.

My introduction to Siddha Yoga

I have been practicing simple hatha yoga through Wai Lana's beginning videos for a little over a year now. But I have done yoga mainly for exercise and for strengthening by body enough to sit for mediation. My spiritual endeavors are usually focused on private meditation, reading new age teachers and coaches like Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dryer, and Jack Canfield and in participating in progressive Muslim group discussions like MRMO.

I have been looking for a less cerebral and more feeling based spiritual group for quite a while now. I believed this would allow me to deepen my meditation practice and integrate the values I so strongly believe in more fully into my life. Joining the dancing sapta at the Siddha Yoga Ashram in Oakland yesterday made me feel I may have found such a group.

The outer actions

The dancing Saptah is a simple step dance done in coordination with other dancers. Dancers form two concentric circles. The inner circle is smaller and faster moving then the outer circle. Steps are performed to the beat of traditional Indian drums called tablas. Chanting is also done simultaneous to dancing. Men and women chant different words invoking love for God. During the chant participants are told to think of the divine flame of God within them and to grow the feeling of love and joy that exists there. At the end there is a brief meditation.

The experience

Shortly after beginning to dance my mind thought, wow this is easy and beautiful but I think I am about ready to do something else. But the dance continued. The beat got faster, then slower, faster again, and finally slowed to a halt. Eventually my mind fell in line with the smoothness of the motion and the singing chants.

Something transcendental happened at this point. I no longer felt like a separate entity but felt deeply connected with those around me in our love for God. The simple repetitiveness of the movements had stilled my thinking mind.

I remembered an analogy of floating wood and water someone had used to describe this state to me. In the analogy the streams of water signified the information from one’s senses and the floating wood, the mind. Usually there are several streams moving the wood in various directions. The wood’s experience is a combination of everything.

But it is only when the streams stop, that the mind has a clearer experience and understanding of itself. It begins to understand the truth of what is really is. Consciousness, God, light, source. Near the end of the saptah when we sat down for a brief meditation, that was exactly how I felt--a warm strong presence of truth within me. The beautiful glowing warmth of clarity and consciousness.

Experiential not vicarious

As I read back over what I have written, I am realizing the elusiveness of my description. It is often easier for yoga practioners to describe asanas and the physical benefits they provide for you. It is much harder to explain what it feels like to be aligned and connected with source which comes from asanas, meditation and other yogic practices. This is because such things make most sense when experienced rather than when reading another’s explanation. But if my writing has bought about some curiosity in you, do message me. I would love to answer any questions you may have.

Should other people impact your happiness?

Last night, I hung out with a male friend who I have some feelings for and I was under the impression until last night had feelings for me also. I am not sure if I was completely wrong, whether he chalked the feelings down to sexual desire or one of the thought patterns in his mind made him choose to end those feelings for me.

As these thoughts came back to me this morning, I felt a little ashamed at my attempts to give him the opportunity to feel and express love. I also felt ashamed and saddened at the thought that his earlier behavior did not come from a place of tenderness and affection.

Since I have been working on connecting with source, my mind is more prone to protest loudly at negative thoughts. When it did so, I realized how surprising all these thoughts were. I realized that a lot of the pain and suffering we bring upon ourselves is through expecting others to act in certain ways. When they don’t we spend hours dissecting their every word and action. The truth is: it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what they think of you or what thoughts underlie their actions. Because at the end of the day you can rarely change people’s feelings and consequent actions. And you certainly cannot change them without the other person desiring to do so.

What you can change and what does matter is how you feel, think, and act; and whether your those are helping you close your vibrational gap or not.

The harder path

As I have heard people's judgments about how my behaviors in relationships are neediness I have alternated from pain, anxiety, to redissecting the pain and now finally to this new awareness that judgments come from the judger's personal filters. They also come from the judger's need to disengage and feel self-righteous his or her decisions. That being said understanding how others view my expression of needs is instructive. It has taught me that its not just the way of communication that is in the making of healthy individuals in healthy relationships, it is also the desire to work things out. All the small details. How to communicate. How to love. And lots of self-sacrifice.

Judging another and letting go is the easy path. Trying to make things work even if in the end you decide you cannot. Now that is hard.