I hope you are well and shining brightly. Thank you for coming. I feel honored to have you here.
I am a saali. In South Asia saali is the word for sister-in-law*. It connotes several emotions related to the saali—beauty, passion, fun, flirtatiousness, freshness. However, by nature of her relationship the saali remains tangential to most lives in her immediate circle. For the wife she remains a young harmless and naïve sister. For the husband a source of flirting pleasure but never someone to whom he feels any serious commitment that involves obligations. And for children a fun and playful aunt to go to for love and feel-good affection when the moral judgements and obligations of their parents’ world leave them feeling low.
Although the saali moves in the same circles as her family members, unlike them she does not “have” to do anything. She has ultimate freedom to experience whatever appeals to her. The practicing of this freedom, and passion with which she does so is the reason for her lively joy, a joy that prevades everything and everyone she touches. Those that come into contact with saali feel happier and revived. Their world looks brighter and they feel that they have the energy to strive for their dreams. For this gift they love her and like addicts they return to her repeatedly for their wellness elixir.
But cultural archetypes are idealized models constructed to allow us to understand how things would function if all other influences on a subject were not present. Reality is seldom so clean.
Regardless of where a saali comes from, being a free thinking woman she will always have her own opinions and values. She may live different parts of her life with different individuals. But her whole self, her inner values, and the seeming contradictions between them is something that she may not always share. For to share all parts of herself with everyone will put saali’s social value at stake. She therefore strives to provide observers with an image consistent with what they believe her to be.
I am everything a saali connotes. I am also a third culture kid and am in someways a more superior impression manager than most saalis. I amaze myself with my own ability to be a cultural chameleon. This is not to say that I am falsely presenting myself since growing up in different cultures from a young age has made my thought processes very multicultural. Nevertheless, if you know me I will only show you parts of my values, the one’s you are more likely to accept and appreciate.
I’m learning that if you wear masks long enough they become hard to take it off. Initially it is due to a sense of discomfort and overwhelming fear at the very thought of taking them off. But once you get past that you realize its because of inner confusion. Confusion about who one really is for in learning what one think others want one to be, one forgets what it is like to be one’s whole sweet authentic self.
When that happens it becomes hard to be the sweet happy saali that the world loves, for there is no longer a through line in what the saali is. Like the fallen leaves of a tree in autumn that toss and turn wherever the winds of life take them, saali inadequately bungles through life, for like the leaves she is no longer connected to a consistent loving whole—the deepest part of her soul that is linked to God.
I believe that allowing my inner voice the freedom to speak clearly and often is a key step to establishing that connection and trust with self, God and His universe. The thoughts expressed in this blog are one of my key attempts to do so this year. In it I plan to share the experiences and thoughts that challenge my spirit to understand my stir-fried world by looking deeper and learn better ways of being, doing, and creating as I learn to be united with God in creating the life and world I intend to bring into being.
This process may not always be easy for spiritual growth and development involves dealing with deep seated thought patterns and fears that have so far held one back. But I have faith that such difficulty and pain is a purposeful teacher. Although it can be hurtful and annoying if not consciously understood, just like stir fried vegetables look and taste so much better due to their experience with heat and spices, my body and soul will come out stronger and more successful on both worldly and spiritual counts. As I understand and learn my inner truth I will share with you my process with love and light. My intention is that this will bring healing and aid to your spiritual paths also.
Peace and Love,
Stir fried saali
*Saali can also be used as a swear word in Urdu. So I advise my non-South Asian readers to use this word with caution with everyone other than myself.
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