Lessons from my leadership failure

Today I failed someone as a leader.

I was unaware of the difficulties and emotions going on for them in other parts of their life. When they shared a need that contradicted our prior agreement along with an ultimatum I told them they should feel free to utilize the ultimatum as the agreement cannot change.

The agreement was based on my needs and the needs of the business and thus came out of respect for myself and something larger than myself. I did not give them the choice of emotional closure as I felt the relationship did not have a chance of lasting as a long term one. This work relationship was 8 months. That is longer than any romantic relationship I have had and this person therefore had a special place in my heart.

My failure came in not realizing his emotional state and realities of his situation. It also came at being unable to motivate him through praise when he needed it most. While better than many people, I have a lot to learn about connecting with people emotionally and influencing them. I am thankful dear God for this lesson you have given me. Please help me as I strive to inculcate this in my life and learn better and better ways of being. Ameen.

Loving you from afar...

Sometimes your heart just lights up at someone watching out for you and loving you from afar. At those moments you bless you stars at being able to get a loving beauty that is so complete and full. And though you and your heart want to show love in your own way, you realize the beauty that you love may not be comfortable with where your love may take it.

And then you feel the pain at the lack. The lack of being able to touch. Being able to kiss. Being able to lovingly worship the heart and body of a great soul like a parvana worships fire. You then miss that body, that heart, and that soul that you can no longer touch.

Oh the sorrow of a love you cannot fully touch can be bittersweet. And when he touches you, you rejoice at the memories and feel the sorrow of separation. But you then remind yourself you want to create a love that accepts and does not blame. That cherishes but does not own. That loves but does not expect. That fills to the brim with joy and fullness of all that life has to offer. And that believes. Believes a fuller love has arrived where passion and acceptance from heart, body, and soul flows everywhere.

I love you soooo much baby! May love and passion always be with us.

Sometimes in the valley

Sometimes in the flow of the life in the valley one wonders. What it is that one really has.

Aggressive work, egos, achievements, desire for money and fame, parties, men (or women), and at the end of it all exhausted passing out. Its at those moments when some of us wonder--what did we really loose by leaving the fold and leaving our people? In loosing that system that only allowed the lowest common denominator of progress, was there something sweeter that we lost. Was that something understanding, love, protection?

And then one wonders did one loose the only thing that is really valuable in the world.

These thoughts come and pass as the newest coolest innovation catches our eyes. We enjoy the adrenaline rush, refocus on our desire for money, stuff our mouth with yet another cookie and then go back to the work that will help us get all--money, joy, fame and may be someday the love and admiration we so desire...