Loneliness

When the going gets tough and one feels emotions that are scary it is but natural to expect others to love you, tell you that you can make it, that you are amazing. But when the other is someone who feels you should be left alone to your own devices since they feel what you are going through can hurt them it becomes very easy to cross the line to anger and wanting them to feel how they are hurting you. Often times it becomes a futile process of banging heads against walls since not only is neither of you understanding the other, but neither of you is allowing enough mental space to the others state to even acknowledge the other’s feelings. The result is loneliness, unhappiness, and unlovingness. But perhaps like all things in life, it is part of the process of learning about yourself and others. And sometimes probably that is what it takes to help you decide the other is just not the one for you.

Law of allowing

In a moment of feeling great gratitude for my boyfriend I called him to tell him I love him. I had just watched “Sleepless in Seattle.” He on the other hand had watched Obama’s latest speech.

I am one of the most apolitical people I know. I simply do not trust that one political leader over another is capable of bringing the transformative change I deeply desire to see in society. Instead I am a believer in grassroots efforts that involve empowering the masses at an individual level rather then galvanizing them around a leader by appealing to their lower chakras. My passionate BF didn’t hear this when he was trying to convince me to persuade others to vote for Obama. He responded to my saying I am apolitical with you can’t even talk to one person for me?

Living this contrast reminded me strongly of my views on creation.

• creation is first and foremost an individual endeavor
• sometimes for some things it can be a joint effort between two partners
• no one is born to serve me and I am not born to serve another in their creation

The law of allowing is based on us being okay with another’s alternative creation. In our case this means him being okay with my desire to be apolitical and mine being okay with his political passion.

The people we attract

Recently when my partner had a strong emotional outburst over something seemingly innocuous I starting wondering about the kinds of relationships we attract in our lives. It seems to me that we attract partners who keep tapping parts of us that need to be awakened. Often this involves sparking a pain in us or them that we and they are unable to understand. Until we learn what it is and master the feelings, we cannot move forward as we will keep producing situations that make these feelings stronger and stronger.